Wednesday, July 24, 2013

So you've got a date

Hello everyone! Last night I posted about breaking up, break ups are sad, so tonight i want to do the opposite and talk about first dates!

First dates are a great until you realize you have to actually go out on this date and appear entertaining, charming, and witty for a few hours (not that you aren't). Here are some tips on how to have an amazing first date

Look sharp.

People love to say "looks don't matter" "It's whats on the inside that counts" "don't judge a book by its cover" etc. The sad truth is first impressions do matter and looks are factored in. If you show up looking like a scrub, your date will think you don't care (in the gross way, not the sexy bad boy way). You don't need to be in your sunday best but look like you put a little thought into it.

Pick something scary to do.

Go on some thrill rides, see a scary movie (The Conjuring is in theater's), go rock climbing, visit a haunted house.

Why? All these thing cause the body to release Adrenaline. When this happens in a date setting a little thing called Misattribution of Arousal happens. Whats that means is that your date is experiencing an increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and breathlessness because of the environment, but they are attributing those feeling to you. 

Also, this will give you something to talk about after if you're lacking conversation topics. 

When picking which scary thing to do, something to keep in mind is knowing your limits. If you shit your pants on the first date, you're going to have a bad time.

Ask lots of questions.

You are trying to get to know them after all. Avoid asking too many questions about work/school because those could bring about negative emotions. Ask unique question like "Whats your favorite cookie?" this will make them think because chances are they aren't asked very often. This will also provoke conversation about other things (allergies, food restrictions etc). Also now you know what to give as a gift.

 If you sit there all night talking about yourself you come off like a cockwaffle (no one wants that). If you have things in mind that you want to talk about, like if you want to brag about your stamp collection, ask if they have any strange collections, they'll say "blah blah blah coin collection blab blah.. what about you?" then you can brag away because they asked. (DISCLAIMER: if you have a stamp collection consider not bringing it up till the second or third date)

Try not to pre-stalk this person to much.

Its nearly impossible to at least take a little look see at their facebook page, see what they look like what they're into. It's ok to look through their profile pictures if you must, but try not to got through everything they're ever posted on any site ever. 

Why? It will probably cause you to say something stupid. Say you saw online that they went to Pooland High School, you mention on the date you knew someone that went to Pooland High School, they never mentioned they went to Pooland High School, you look like a creep. Even though people generally assume people stalk their facebook, they don't really want those suspicions to be confirmed on the first date.

Be honest.

People sometimes have a really bad habit of lying on a date. Whether its a little lie like "I like the baseball, too" or a big lie like "I'm single" in the end it will blow up in your face. Faking an interest will lead to many uncomfortable conversations about something you know nothing about and probably don't care about. Instead, find something you actually do have in common, and if you can't, laugh about how totally opposite you are, bang, and never call them again. (Just kidding .. sort of).

Who pays?

Ok here's how its going to go down 
Guy: offer to pay for the girl
Girl: politly decline and offer to pay for yourself
Guy: insist on paying for the both of you
Girl: Allow the guy to pay.
If everyone (on a tradition date) can follow this it will eliminate a lot of awkwardness. 

Now I'm well aware there are other possible situations.
If you are in a same sex relationship, whoever initiated the date should offer to pay and so on as above 
If you (a girl) asks a guy on the date, you should be prepared to pay for yourself. (Its not fair to expect him to have enough money for both of you if he didn't ask in the first place)




Hope this was mildly helpful for some of you! If you have any helpful tips of your own please let me know in the comments! Good luck on your date!

Curious about Misattribution of Arousal? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal 


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