You Are Soooo Good Looking

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Tonight I think we should talk about accepting compliments!

Why is accepting a compliment so hard? Either you actually disagree or you think that denying it will make you appear more humble. However, denying a compliment just creates an awkward situation, even if you don't mean to, you're pretty much saying "Take all your niceness and SHOVE IT".

Simple fix:
 Just smile and say "Thanks" simple enough and you can go about your day as usual.

If someone is complementing something you have:
Nice shoes, cute top, cool phone case etc. Say thanks and tell them how you acquired it. "Thanks, I got them on sale at Country Clothes". Do this because usually (not always) these compliments are used as conversation starters, so this will keep it going. Now you come off as nice and helpful. If you, for whatever reason, don't want them to know where you got it  "It was a gift".

If someone compliments something about you yourself:
You're a good artist, you're funny, you're a good listener, etc. These are what people usually have trouble with. You're response will vary depending on the specifics of the scenario. "Aw thanks you're too kind" is a good standby for this type of compliment, half deflected but still accepted. If you find the compliment heartwarming, you can go with the classic "Thanks, that means a lot" it's simple and makes the other person happy too.

Here are some examples for specific scenarios:
"You're funny"
"Thanks, I'm here all week"

"You're show was awesome"
"Thanks, I had fun"

"You have a nice place"
"Thanks, make yourself at home"

"You look great"
"I couldn't have done it with out Shaun T, my trainer"

"Great advice"
"I'm glad I could help"

"You're so humble"
"I know"

I hope this was helpful! If you have anything specific you want answered feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to help out.  I hope you all have a fantastic week!

Catch Some Z's

Sleep, its a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, it doesn't come easy for everyone. We do it almost every night, yet I seem to struggle with it still. That is why today i want to talk a little bit about something that is simply not addressed enough. Sleep paralysis.

For those of you who don't know what this is, it is when your brain is telling your body it is asleep when, in fact, you are conscious. Why is this a problem? When you brain tells your body you are asleep, it sends a out a chemical that paralyzes you completely, and if you're actually conscious while this is happening you are very aware you can't move at all and its a rather horrifying experience.

For me, this started when i was very young (about 4) and got really bad in middle school all the way through high school. For a long time I didn't even know what was happening, I turned to the internet (internet knows all) but the results I found were less than helpful, so I just had to deal with it and sort things out myself.

So now I present you with my findings and hopefully if you are dealing with sleep paralysis, this will be helpful.

-Sleep on your stomach if possible.
 I know this can be difficult or uncomfortable sometimes but for some reason it rarely happens when I sleep on my stomach.

-Listen to music.
 This, too, can be hard for some people if you prefer silence when you sleep. Now, you don't have to listen to heavy metal, just some kind of noise. Personally I like listening to the artist Blackmill, very relaxing and great to fall asleep too. Some of you might prefer a noise machine so you can listen to sounds of the rain forest, or just the sound of a fan.

-Try not to nap during the day.
When I was still in school this was near impossible for my, especially because sleeping at night was so difficult it was hard not to want a nap during the day. It's a vicious cycle that you should try to break.

-Have a regular sleep schedule.
I know that most of you work and go to school, and sometimes getting to bed at the same time every night is very difficult but if you can manage to try to go to bed and wake up at around the same time everyday this should help.

Now keep in mind this is just what works for me. I did not do any official studies on this (yet), I have no scientific research supporting this, but I find this works. I hope this was helpful for some of you, if you have any questions about this or any suggestions of what works for you please let me know!! Sweet dreams everyone!

Where's Your Head At?

In the words of a wise man, Mr Roger Ebert:

"The single most important advice: The Muse visits during the act of writing, not before. If you sit around waiting for inspiration, nothing will happen."

Shannon translation:

"Sit down and write your shit"

I have so many things I want to write about, when it comes down to actually sitting down and writing it my brain decides to throw out all my ideas 

Much like this 

You know what I have to say about, "Screw you scumbag brain, I'm writing anyway. Nananabooboo stick your head in .... wait"

Anywho, lets take this time to address some FAQs about me:

Where did you study?

I studied psychology and philosophy at the University of Texas in San Antonio for three and a half years. Alas, I have not graduated, I am taking some time off to work. I do pay my own bills. 

What is your favorite color?

Somewhere in between pink and orange is the perfect shade i think... purples alright too.

Do you have a writing schedule?

I do not, if i set a schedule my brain will explode and that's not good for business. I will however, try to write every few days at least. 

Pancakes, waffles, french toast?

Waffles by far. Its got little syrup holders built right in, you can't beat it. 

Whats your guilty pleasure?

I enjoying watching the Disney channel (Gravity Falls is hilarious, and i have a lady crush on Selena Gomez)

I also LOVE Big Brother, I've watched for many years and I ain't stopping now!

Feel free to leave your answers to some of these questions in the comments! Or if you have your own questions you'd like to ask feel free to do that as well :) 

So you've got a date

Hello everyone! Last night I posted about breaking up, break ups are sad, so tonight i want to do the opposite and talk about first dates!

First dates are a great until you realize you have to actually go out on this date and appear entertaining, charming, and witty for a few hours (not that you aren't). Here are some tips on how to have an amazing first date

Look sharp.

People love to say "looks don't matter" "It's whats on the inside that counts" "don't judge a book by its cover" etc. The sad truth is first impressions do matter and looks are factored in. If you show up looking like a scrub, your date will think you don't care (in the gross way, not the sexy bad boy way). You don't need to be in your sunday best but look like you put a little thought into it.

Pick something scary to do.

Go on some thrill rides, see a scary movie (The Conjuring is in theater's), go rock climbing, visit a haunted house.

Why? All these thing cause the body to release Adrenaline. When this happens in a date setting a little thing called Misattribution of Arousal happens. Whats that means is that your date is experiencing an increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and breathlessness because of the environment, but they are attributing those feeling to you. 

Also, this will give you something to talk about after if you're lacking conversation topics. 

When picking which scary thing to do, something to keep in mind is knowing your limits. If you shit your pants on the first date, you're going to have a bad time.

Ask lots of questions.

You are trying to get to know them after all. Avoid asking too many questions about work/school because those could bring about negative emotions. Ask unique question like "Whats your favorite cookie?" this will make them think because chances are they aren't asked very often. This will also provoke conversation about other things (allergies, food restrictions etc). Also now you know what to give as a gift.

 If you sit there all night talking about yourself you come off like a cockwaffle (no one wants that). If you have things in mind that you want to talk about, like if you want to brag about your stamp collection, ask if they have any strange collections, they'll say "blah blah blah coin collection blab blah.. what about you?" then you can brag away because they asked. (DISCLAIMER: if you have a stamp collection consider not bringing it up till the second or third date)

Try not to pre-stalk this person to much.

Its nearly impossible to at least take a little look see at their facebook page, see what they look like what they're into. It's ok to look through their profile pictures if you must, but try not to got through everything they're ever posted on any site ever. 

Why? It will probably cause you to say something stupid. Say you saw online that they went to Pooland High School, you mention on the date you knew someone that went to Pooland High School, they never mentioned they went to Pooland High School, you look like a creep. Even though people generally assume people stalk their facebook, they don't really want those suspicions to be confirmed on the first date.

Be honest.

People sometimes have a really bad habit of lying on a date. Whether its a little lie like "I like the baseball, too" or a big lie like "I'm single" in the end it will blow up in your face. Faking an interest will lead to many uncomfortable conversations about something you know nothing about and probably don't care about. Instead, find something you actually do have in common, and if you can't, laugh about how totally opposite you are, bang, and never call them again. (Just kidding .. sort of).

Who pays?

Ok here's how its going to go down 

Guy: offer to pay for the girl

Girl: politly decline and offer to pay for yourself

Guy: insist on paying for the both of you

Girl: Allow the guy to pay.

If everyone (on a tradition date) can follow this it will eliminate a lot of awkwardness. 

Now I'm well aware there are other possible situations.

If you are in a same sex relationship, whoever initiated the date should offer to pay and so on as above 

If you (a girl) asks a guy on the date, you should be prepared to pay for yourself. (Its not fair to expect him to have enough money for both of you if he didn't ask in the first place)

Hope this was mildly helpful for some of you! If you have any helpful tips of your own please let me know in the comments! Good luck on your date!

Curious about Misattribution of Arousal? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal 

Trouble in Paradise?

Break ups. They suck. Sometimes though, they need to happen. I have seen many people suffer through awful relationships solely because they don't want to break up. When I ask them why, I get a number of ridiculous excuses;

1. "I don't want to hurt her"

You can only hide the fact that you don't want to be in this relationship for so long. This person is going to be hurt eventually, the longer you draw this charade out the more hurt they will be.

2."We've had so many good times in the past"

Unfortunately the past in an inaccessible time zone. If you don't think your future is bright together get out because you're wasting both their time and yours.

3."He's a great guy "

Well that's great, good for him. If you're not happy, he's not for you. Let him be a great guy to someone that he does make happy. 

These are just a few examples. Obviously every relationship is different, but for the love of God, use some common sense, if you're unhappy its time for a change. Hope this was mildly helpful to someone somewhere. If you have any questions or comments please let me know I love to hear your feed back. 

Let's Talk Anime, Shall We?

I think that some people, when they think about anime, imagine it's all like weird pokemon/sailor moon type stuff. However, this is not the case, there are so many awesome anime series out there, you just have to find what you like.

Personally, when it comes to anime, I prefer the drama/horror genres. The levels of darkness that are achieved in these shows are really something you don't get to see in you're everyday shows.

If you're sitting there thinking "Maybe I should look into this Anime business, but where do I start?" Here are some suggestions:

Death Note

This is a great anime to start on, its a drama series but has a little bit of everything; you laugh, you cry, you shit your pants, you fall in love. It's about a bright young student that goes on a secret killing spree, eliminating the criminals of the world, with the help of a killer notebook (hence death note). The animation is beautiful and the English dubbing is flawless.







Ouran High School Host Club

For those of you who would rather watch something a little lighter, this is perfect for you. Ouran Host Club is a romantic comedy about a group of beautiful and filthy rich young guys with too much time on their hands, entertaining beautiful and filthy rich young ladies who also have to much time on their hands. Things get a little shake up when a commoner is thrown into the mix.






These two are prefect starter amine's and two of my favorites. Some other great anime's (all English dubbed, you're welcome) are:

Ergo Proxy- futuristic drama
When They Cry- horror mystery
Chobits- comedy drama
Mushishi- drama fantasy
Darker Than Black- action fantasy
Cody Geass- action adventure
Deadman Wonderland- horror
Fooly Cooly- drama action
Elfin Lied- drama horror (Warning- Some Nudity)
Gantz-action horror (Warning- Some Nudity)

If you have A LOT of time on your hands you might check out Bleach or Full Metal Alchemist, they are worth mentioning but rather lengthy.

I hope you all give one of these a try (if not all). Let me know if you do! Also if you have any suggestions for me feel free to tell me in the comments!

A Few Things I Wish I Had Been Told Sooner in Life

Hi everyone! Hope you are all had a good weekend!

Many of my friends through out the years have come to me for advice about every day issues they are having whether it is relationship trouble or issues at work or school. Now, my advice does vary depending on the specifics of the issue but there always seems to be an underlying theme that can be applied to many life issues. In one word: Confidence.

Want to get a boyfriend? Confidence
What to make new friends? Confidence
Want to be more of a trend setter? Confidence
Want to convince anyone of anything? Confidence
Want to be able to wear a pine cone on your head? Confidence

It's truly shocking the things you can get away with if you just do it with the utmost confidence.

Now, I know what you're thinking "But Shannon, you can't just be confident, some people are and some people aren't, your advice stinks and I hate you"  Whoa, keep calm and read on, my friends. Anyone can exude confidence (whether they are or not).

Confidence is actually a generally easy thing to fake, and after you fake it enough it just becomes second nature and before you know it you are the confident strong person you've always wanted to be!

How do you fake confidence? Well there are a few very simple tips and tricks to appear more confident.

1. Posture 
Keep your back straight and your shoulders back. Keep your head up when you're walking around. This was a little difficult for me at first because I was so used to slouching and keeping my eyes on the floor as I walked around but with a little effort standing up straight and looking up became second nature. 

Why does posture make a difference? Good posture shows that you have respect for yourself, and people tend to respect people that respect themselves.

2. Eye Contact
When you are having a conversation with a person, friend or stranger, look them in the eyes. Again, its a little strange a first but the more you do it, you'll become more comfortable with it and you won't feel like you're having some sort of weird staring contest with the person.

Why does eye contact make a difference? When you look at a person in the eyes it appears as though you are fully focused on them and care what they are saying. I don't have to tell you why people like that.

3. Be Honest
Let me be clear, when asked for your opinion, be honest but for the love of all that is holy be kind. If someone asks you if their hideous hat look good on them, don't just blurt out "KILL IT WITH FIRE" though you might want too. Instead tell them simply they look better without it.

Why is honesty important? People will respect your opinion way more if they're not always hearing "Yea looks good" every time they ask. It will give you some credibility and people want that in the people they hangout with.

With these 3 simple things you will be well on your way to being a stronger more confident you. I could probably write a book about this but I didn't want to overwhelm anyone on the first post. I hope this helps a few of you! If you want me to post more on this topic or if you have any other topics you'd like me to post about, just let me know in the comments :)